Showing posts with label Childhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Childhood. Show all posts

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Vital Change in Character (Growing Up)

Growth is inevitable. We all have to agree on that. Growing up also takes place at different pace and also at different times. A 12 year old can be as mature as 19 year old and a man aged 50 can still have the mentality of a 23 year old.

To parents, their children growing up is probably one of the hardest things they will face. It becomes tougher when the parents are not in touch with their children. However, a point comes when they have to accept the fact of growing up and when they finally accept it, they themselves have grown up. Growing up is characterized by a drastic change in the ones growing up. Most of the times, it's the attitude, which changes.
Change in attitude can be towards something or towards anyone.

When I was in class 9, my best friend, Ransley stopped talking with me and completely ignored me in school. The reason was that I changed and became a person who was very rude and arrogant to people who teased me. Till grade 8, I just used to accept all the taunts and torments thrown at me but then I thought it was enough and decided to change. Although Ransley never abused me in anyway, he did teased me, but now when I look back, those didn't matter. However, I was very rude at him. After weeks of not talking and ignoring, whenever he tried to talk to me I blew him away, and then he never looked at me in the eye whenever he was near to me. But he did looked at me from a distance and I did too. I was naive back then and a bit stupid too that I didn't realize that I disappointing him and I did hurt him. He hurt me as well, but we never showed each other as well. We were no longer best friends we used to be and became strangers.

That was the time when I became good friends with Madan B. and Parkin John B. Madan suddenly became best friends with me, it was almost like a friendship that I had with Ransley. On the other hand, Ransley made new friends (better than me). Towards the end of the year I realized the actual worth of Ransley and it was hard for me to accept that I missed him. Madan started to control me in ways I didn't realize then. As our friendship grew stronger, I told Madan how me and Ransley used to be really good friends. The moment I mentioned his name, he started hating him and began to be angry at me and kept saying to me "Your choice of friends is really poor and bad". I turned a deaf ear to that and then I'm wondered how could he say that when in fact I chose him to be my friend!

As my friendship with Madan started weakening and went to the extent of him abusing me over text just before my final Chemistry exam for that year. He abused me and practically my entire family. And when I shared this with my friends the next day, Ransley was present. He didn't react and something told me that he was happy. He started to talk to me again, it was like we were beginning to become friends all over again!

That year ended like that. But somehow I was happy. I realized that I was pretending all that year just to be with Madan and his friends. I was being someone else who wasn't me. I hated myself. I looked into how I treated Ransley and some others and felt terribly bad. I felt so bad that I cried. I promised myself I will not be that person again. I loved and liked myself when I was not loud, when I was submissive and tolerant. I wanted to be that way again.

This post has become too long, I'll tell you what happened next in my following post.

Till then, Bye.

Love Always,
Bernard.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Holi - A Festival Of Colors!

So today was holi. Holi is the festival of colors celebrated all across India and even in some parts of the world. I don't know why exactly people celebrate this festival but I kind of made my own personal philosophy to support this idea of festival. This festival is like a metaphor to bring color to one's life. In other words, this festival might prove like a break from the daily monotonous life. Again, this is only my interpretation.

It is actually quiet fun. Playing with colors and throwing colored water filled balloons at random passerby and then hiding quickly, ambushing relatives and friends with a handful of color material and things like that. This festival is also marked by a drink, it's called "Bhang" in local language here, which apparently makes one drunk and go nuts because it's actually made of condensed milk and cashew nuts (that's what I know about that drink). I never really had that drink but I want to at least once. 

Most of my friends played holi today and I saw their pictures in facebook. They all looked like ghastly figures in those pictures but looked really happy and that's what all matters. I didn't play holi because like every year it fell during lent. And my mom told me that it's not the right time to play. It bothered me when I was kid but soon I never objected that and was okay with that. The last time I remember playing holi was when I was in grade 3. I remember me and my siblings and all the neighborhood kids joined us in my garage, and we played like crazy. We were so soaked in colors that my mom didn't let us eneter the house until we cleaned ourselves in our pond.  So that was that.

Thinking about those days make me seem like an old person and make me realize that I'm grown up now. But I might play again if and only if it doesn't coincide with the season of lent.

Here's a picture incase you're having a little trouble what holi exactly is -


Till then, I wish you all Happy Holi!

Love Always,
Bernard.