HAPPY EASTER!

Happy Easter Everyone!

May The risen Lord bless you and your family. Believe in HIM and Have FAITH.

You should always have faith in God. Always remember that whatever happens in life, happens for a REASON. God knows exactly about you. We should all surrender ourselves because God has a much better and bigger plan for us than what we have for ourselves.

There might be some atheists out there and to whom I also suggest to believe that whatever happens in life always happens for a reason.

Have a nice day.

Love Always,
Bernard.

Hypocrisy

Look around you. What do you see? You might see a lot of things and a lot of people. But there's one thing that is all pervading and that is - HYPOCRISY!

Hypocrisy always bothered me. It bother's me more because I actually get to know people who're hypocrites. I don't know whether you all can catch hypocrisy or not but I can tell you that I can. First I thought it's a gift I possess to know what people truly thinks but then it becomes weird.

I have a lot of people whom I know are hypocrites. Most people, like my friends, pretend to like me just for the things they get out of me. I'm helpful, whenever people wants some help I help them. Like my classmates wants some notes from me or something like of that kind. It might be hard to believe but in class I had the best handwriting and also the one who took down every note till the last bit. And just before exams people, whom I didn't even know or talk to came to me and asked my notes. Well, it usually starts with me saying a clear 'No!' but then they all put up a 'puupy dog' face and finally say 'Ok!'.

Some of my classmates practically teased me and tried to make my life miserable also came to me during their time when they needed help. So I helped. After a week, they belonged where they were and I to mine.I tried really hard not to bother about these or even brood over these silly things. Sometimes I thought that whether I was being an hypocrite for giving them the help they needed. I really thought I was. But then I came to the conclusion 'No! Of course not!' I was just being me. It's me who really helps and I don't care what the person did to me months, weeks, days or years ago. I'll just do my part of job. Someone told me, that I should to my part of the job being myself. I shouldn't care about others. Besides, I really like helping people.

There are also some people who hated me but after doing something good for them, they change their attitude towards me. Although sometimes they don't want to act all nice to me but they still do. I come to know that too and I really appreciate that. So to keep in somewhat good terms with them I ignore them, most of the times and I say nothing to them. Also after a long time of ignorance they start to think that I'm arrogant and I'm too proud. But only I know and some of my close friends know, what it is. There's problem everywhere and in everything I do, I guess. I try to shape and mould my thoughts subsequently and according to the given situation. And I think you should do too.

If we do something nice, the act may be small, but still it is good nonetheless, you will be rewarded. At the end, it will make you happy! Just be patient and that's all. Continue to be kind and nice to others even when they try to hurt you. I'm sure one day they'll realize you're worth. We are so much more than what we think. And we accept the love we think we deserve, when in reality we deserve more.

Love Always,
Bernard.

P.S. I'll tell you what happen to my friendship later, I really wanted to write this article soon!

Vital Change in Character (Growing Up)

Growth is inevitable. We all have to agree on that. Growing up also takes place at different pace and also at different times. A 12 year old can be as mature as 19 year old and a man aged 50 can still have the mentality of a 23 year old.

To parents, their children growing up is probably one of the hardest things they will face. It becomes tougher when the parents are not in touch with their children. However, a point comes when they have to accept the fact of growing up and when they finally accept it, they themselves have grown up. Growing up is characterized by a drastic change in the ones growing up. Most of the times, it's the attitude, which changes.
Change in attitude can be towards something or towards anyone.

When I was in class 9, my best friend, Ransley stopped talking with me and completely ignored me in school. The reason was that I changed and became a person who was very rude and arrogant to people who teased me. Till grade 8, I just used to accept all the taunts and torments thrown at me but then I thought it was enough and decided to change. Although Ransley never abused me in anyway, he did teased me, but now when I look back, those didn't matter. However, I was very rude at him. After weeks of not talking and ignoring, whenever he tried to talk to me I blew him away, and then he never looked at me in the eye whenever he was near to me. But he did looked at me from a distance and I did too. I was naive back then and a bit stupid too that I didn't realize that I disappointing him and I did hurt him. He hurt me as well, but we never showed each other as well. We were no longer best friends we used to be and became strangers.

That was the time when I became good friends with Madan B. and Parkin John B. Madan suddenly became best friends with me, it was almost like a friendship that I had with Ransley. On the other hand, Ransley made new friends (better than me). Towards the end of the year I realized the actual worth of Ransley and it was hard for me to accept that I missed him. Madan started to control me in ways I didn't realize then. As our friendship grew stronger, I told Madan how me and Ransley used to be really good friends. The moment I mentioned his name, he started hating him and began to be angry at me and kept saying to me "Your choice of friends is really poor and bad". I turned a deaf ear to that and then I'm wondered how could he say that when in fact I chose him to be my friend!

As my friendship with Madan started weakening and went to the extent of him abusing me over text just before my final Chemistry exam for that year. He abused me and practically my entire family. And when I shared this with my friends the next day, Ransley was present. He didn't react and something told me that he was happy. He started to talk to me again, it was like we were beginning to become friends all over again!

That year ended like that. But somehow I was happy. I realized that I was pretending all that year just to be with Madan and his friends. I was being someone else who wasn't me. I hated myself. I looked into how I treated Ransley and some others and felt terribly bad. I felt so bad that I cried. I promised myself I will not be that person again. I loved and liked myself when I was not loud, when I was submissive and tolerant. I wanted to be that way again.

This post has become too long, I'll tell you what happened next in my following post.

Till then, Bye.

Love Always,
Bernard.

The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

I'm going to devote this whole post about The Perks Of Being A Wallflower just to tell all of you how much I loved the movie and the book!

I downloaded the e-book for The Perks Of Being A Wallflower way before the movie came out as I knew that I will never actually own book. I really wanted to read it and so I read the e-book and I fell in love with it. After the movie came out, I ordered the book online and finally I had my own copy of the book. Few weeks ago I read the book again. And by the way I don't like to read e-books, that would be my first and last time reading an e-book, hopefully.

The book is plain and written in simple language so that anyone can understand it. Stephen Chobsky is really a great writer because he never tried to sugar-coat anything in his novel. Any person who possesses heart will be able to feel what the main character (Charlie) feels and will be able to relate to the book. I loved the fact that it was set in early 1990s. Charlie makes senior friends in school, namely Sam and Patrick and both of them are amazing and Charlie's perception of his surrounding is really great! Stephen Chobsky's character development in the novel is worthy of praise. I suggest every young adult and even the adults to read the book. If this book is read at the right time of your life then it sure will become a companion for life, just like it became to me because the book greatly affected me.

I'm in real life, pretty much like Charlie because I'm a wallflower too and we kind of think the same way, however whatever he goes through and I go through are completely different. I really hated myself and this book really made me feel better about myself and I started looking at life in a totally different way.I'll talk about me hating myself later.

The movie is also really good too, Charlie is played by Logan Lerman, Sam by Emma Watson and Patrick by Ezra Miller. The lead performances were strong and the performances of them are reason enough to watch this movie. The movie is directed by Stephen Chobsky himself and so he couldn't go anywhere wrong. The imperfections in the movie makes the movie perfect. I've watched the movie thrice. If you don't like to read books then at least watch the movie. The movie might also help to influence your thoughts about life. The music is great too. The movie and the book differs in ways (like every other book which has been turned into movie), but I think it couldn't have been helped because then the movie would have been NC-17 rated or R at the least. The movie is supposed to have a target audience and hence the rating, PG-13. So I suggest both, to read as well as watch the movie, If you're into reading books and watching movies.

Here's the trailer for the movie, in case if you haven't seen yet. The trailer is although deceptive and it's not a 'typical high school' movie about teenagers. It's so much more than that and travels deep. It's in one line about mental disorder, child abuse and deals with more grave subjects similar to this.

I hope you will someday read and watch the movie.

Love Always,
Bernard.

Holi - A Festival Of Colors!

So today was holi. Holi is the festival of colors celebrated all across India and even in some parts of the world. I don't know why exactly people celebrate this festival but I kind of made my own personal philosophy to support this idea of festival. This festival is like a metaphor to bring color to one's life. In other words, this festival might prove like a break from the daily monotonous life. Again, this is only my interpretation.

It is actually quiet fun. Playing with colors and throwing colored water filled balloons at random passerby and then hiding quickly, ambushing relatives and friends with a handful of color material and things like that. This festival is also marked by a drink, it's called "Bhang" in local language here, which apparently makes one drunk and go nuts because it's actually made of condensed milk and cashew nuts (that's what I know about that drink). I never really had that drink but I want to at least once. 

Most of my friends played holi today and I saw their pictures in facebook. They all looked like ghastly figures in those pictures but looked really happy and that's what all matters. I didn't play holi because like every year it fell during lent. And my mom told me that it's not the right time to play. It bothered me when I was kid but soon I never objected that and was okay with that. The last time I remember playing holi was when I was in grade 3. I remember me and my siblings and all the neighborhood kids joined us in my garage, and we played like crazy. We were so soaked in colors that my mom didn't let us eneter the house until we cleaned ourselves in our pond.  So that was that.

Thinking about those days make me seem like an old person and make me realize that I'm grown up now. But I might play again if and only if it doesn't coincide with the season of lent.

Here's a picture incase you're having a little trouble what holi exactly is -

Till then, I wish you all Happy Holi!

Love Always,
Bernard.

Death of a child

Today when I woke up, my mother gave me a really sad news. And yes, it's the first thing I heard today. One of my relative's son (age 4) died. He had tumor in his lungs and today at 4 am he passed away in the hospital, he was admitted in the ICU. I was instantly sad about it, because during some occasions like a small party or get-together I met him. His mother is also the godmother of my nephew who is 2 and a half years old. My nephew, niece and  he used to play together and I'm just sad about that. I spoke to him twice and he was jovial and happy and looked really fit. He used to run around my entire house when he was there. My elder sister called my mom to give the news. I'm just wandering what his mother and father are going through right now. His entire family and grandmother especially. All I saw was how much they loved him and today he is gone.He even had a sister, who I think was 2 years elder to him and she loved him as well. I really don't want to imagine their faces right now. But it all seems unbelievable and I never thought something like this will happen to a 4 year old kid.

In life, anything can happen anytime. Nobody knows what. I think we should try to feel alive everyday because one day we all will  die. And we came to this world for some reason and we have a purpose. During the first part of our life we must find what exactly our purpose it. We may need some time to figure that out and sometimes it takes too much of time to find out that. And once we know that, we must employ our actions properly in order to get them fulfilled. Sometimes it will look like as if the most difficult task has been assigned to us and it's impossible to do anything about that. But it is nothing like that because it can be done. And while carrying our our intentions, we may be judged by others but we must still carry on all alone when there's no one to support us. To be honest, you need actually need a lot of support, one one is enough to alter the evil in the world. He/She can make a difference even though it can be small. No one is asking anyone to make a monumental change or difference, the little acts if done by everyone can bring about a huge change.

I really hope you understand what I'm saying.

And here's a song I would like to share today with you all. This song is - Asleep by The Smiths and today it somehow perfectly fits the situation. This is wonderful and lovely song! And this is actually one of my favorites. I knew about The Smiths long before but I came to know about this particular song after reading 'The Perks Of Being A Wallflower' by Stephen Chobsky. And It's my favorite book and companion now.

Love always,
Bernard.

Favorite Subject and Grade 8

Let me talk a little about school here. My most significant class would be class 8. The reason why, is because I got to find myself and moreover I realized that it's wasn't just about finding yourself about also creating yourself. In other words I thought that discovering and inventing should go hand in hand. I also made good friends and one of them turned out to be my best friend. His name is Ransley G. Ransley by the way is still one of my best friends. In this grade, actually everyone was so curious about certain things, which I thought was amusing and I liked listening what my classmates had to say and they said different sorts of stories about social network site (Who said what to whom), girlfriends, sports, musicians and bands (like Greenday and Linkin Park) and also about thier personal lives.So It was kind of great, I think.

However I was also teased in this class and my class teacher also made the beginning of the year horrible. While collecting answer scripts of our tests, she though I threw my paper at her face and went back. She said this after collecting all the papers and then she called my roll no. and I didn't stand up because it didn't really hit me at the first instance that it was my number (and I never thought anything would happen like this to me) and then she shouted out again and then it dawned on me and I stood up at once. She then accused me, and then I saw my first bench classmates turning around with faces saying 'No I saw you, you didn't do anything like that' and then I had to look straight into my teacher's eyes. Before this almost all the teachers remarked I was 'well behaved and well mannered' and 'honest' student and that same well mannered student had to go through this. She was my English teacher. She then decided to deduct 2 marks from my paper. I was blank then, and after she left I started crying. I cried really hard. My friends came to soothe me, I don't remember whether it helped me or made it even worse. All I remember was, watching me cry, another student started crying too because his test went bad. I think I was also responsible for his crying.

English was always my favorite subject and still is. But in class 8, I never got good marks, I got D grades (that's 50% - 60%) and I couldn't believe it! After that my hopes in English were belied. She even after that changed my place and send to right at the back of the class at one corner. I stopped minding it after some time and she forgot what I did and she even forgot my name! So then the 2nd term was alright. To be very honest I didn't really like her as an English teacher.

So in class 9( I'll tell more about this class later) when my favorite English teacher told us to write in a chit of paper the marks we were expecting and I thought the marking scheme will be the same as class 8 and so I didn't get my hopes up and wrote a modest 50/80 and she was shocked to see that! And then without showing my marks, she turned to the class and said 'Gentlemen, I think this is the highest in this class and he expects 50' and then I saw 65/80 and I was amazed and surprised and I really couldn't believe. Later I found out that I didn't get the highest, I got the 3rd highest because 2 other students got 67 and 66. But I was so happy that I did not bother about that! I was just very happy. And my confidence in that subject came back and English became my favorite subject since then again. In my last English exam I got 87/100 and the teacher told me that I write well.

This was my story behind my favorite subject.

Love Always,
Bernard.

Growing Up and Personal Freedom

The images I used for background and the header were taken in Kunming, China. I was an exchange student in my school's exchange programme and went to China last year. I would not say the trip was comforting but it was one of those trips from which I learned a lot.

Moving further, I will also share my opinion on books which I read (will read) and movies. Well, I'm not really a critic. I'm just an ordinary being like you and me. I face the same problems as you, so there is actually no difference among us. The fact is that we must consider ourselves to be lucky and blessed. I know sometimes a point comes when we give up all our hopes and we don't hold on to that- that we are blessed, we think that the world is cruel to us. And it's normal too, but we anyway go through the bad and when it's gone we still stand on our feet. I mean, come on now, there has to be a time when things will become good. Sometimes it takes time and sometimes it happens in a blink of an eye, however it does happen.

So, I'm actually somewhere in between an high school student and a college student. I gave my board examinations (ISC Class 12) whose results will come out sometime in June. And after that I'll have to start applying in colleges. But I think I am destined to go to St. Xavier's College because I also studied in St. Xavier's School. Yes, it's an university. I have studied there for 13 years and will continue studying in college for more three years, I guess.

I am not a 'nerd' but I do study, may not throughout the year but I study just enough. Even with that amount of studying people around me thinks I'm good at studying. And the people in my society actually thinks I'm good and tell their kids to be like me. I really don't like that. I mean sometimes my parents tell me how some of my cousins look good and are healthy as they go to gym and they try to tell me that I should be more like them by eating good nutritious food and exercising, and how I hate this. The fact is that I want people to be themselves, they should NOT be like anyone or follow anyone's footsteps. However, they should learn from others mistakes so that they don't repeat them and the matter ends there. The should create a different path altogether and eventually by doing so, they will make mistakes, it's inevitable. But that's good, because that means they are normal and they are experiencing life.

So If you're a mom or a dad reading this, tell your kids to learn from your own or others mistakes, and encourage them to pursue what they want. I'm quiet sure teenagers and kids these days cannot be managed with military precision. Give them the amount of freedom which is required, giving more or less can be bad.

I guess that's it for now. Have a good day or night.

Love always,
Bernard.

Welcome!

Hi,
My name is Bernard Gomes and I live in India. I'm 18 years old. I'm starting this blog because one of my favorite hobbies is to write. Writing doesn't mean that I like to write short stories and fiction (actually I like that too) but I like to write about things that I see and observe. So, this blog will have posts which obviously and apparently I'll post, and they will involve a number of people in it. I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and so I will give other names to people. And by the way in case you're thinking, my real name is the name which I said in the first line. I don't wish to conceal my identity really, and I don't know why.

So, I'm am not a gifted writer as you all can judge by reading this first welcome post. But that is my whole point - I DO NOT wish to be a genius writer. The things that I will write about should be understood by all, and that should be my aim. I really hope to help people through this, those who are struggling with life and are going through difficult times or even maybe times which cannot be given a name. I don't have a degree in psychology but I do understand people. In real life I'm way too passive and a wallflower but I really, really want to help.

I will be posting about my life and observations here, I will be focusing more on observations and you all can contact me through this blog or can ask me questions in my email - akshaygomes17@yahoo.com

Thank you for taking time to visit my blog.

Love always,
Bernard.

P.S. I'll try to keep things as simple as possible.